


Misarranged

by Renaisty



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Gen, Gender-Neutral Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, POV Keith (Voltron), Shiro (Voltron) is Missing, everyone is a mess, i love how that's a tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-23
Updated: 2017-07-23
Packaged: 2018-12-05 02:39:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11568597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Renaisty/pseuds/Renaisty
Summary: Shiro is gone.And nothing is as it should be.





	Misarranged

**Author's Note:**

> So I started this a while ago, but I finished it, finally. Anyway, just to say it, but I am 99% supportive of Keith becoming the Black Paladin. He'll be a great leader. I just really love their positions as they started out, and Shiro.
> 
> Takes place after the end of season 2.

Shiro's gone. Shiro is _gone._

Keith wanted to scream, maybe cry, and definitely hit something. But he couldn't, not yet.

Shiro wasn't _dead_. Not yet anyway. He was gone, disappeared to where they couldn't even find him, much less reach him, _save_ him.

He'd left.

The Black Lion was still and silent behind him. The others encouraged him to stay in her hangar for a while, to build stronger bonds as quickly as possible. How exactly 'encouraging' translated to 'lock him in the hangar' he didn't know. He'd always thought encouragement is more along the lines of pretty words that you can ignore or listen to as you wish. At least, that's the way Shiro did it.

"Look, I don't like this either. But I told them Shiro said he wanted me to lead Voltron, and it's like they just suddenly stop listening to me. Looks like even in his absence, they listen to him better."

The Lion was silent. Figures.

The Black Paladin suit felt ill-fitting, like a second skin that he'd stolen from a snake. The suits were designed to fit various body types, the Alteans willing to have paladins from another species, but still he felt out of place in it.

"Look, it's been a week." A somewhat uncomfortable week, sleeping in a humongous hangar next to a silent sentient lion with makeshift bedding and not allowed to go to the training room. "Come on, please. Believe me, if I had a choice Shiro would be here right now."

_Not here._

Keith jumped. The Lion had never talked to him.

"What do you mean?"

_Paladin. Mine. Sadness. Regret. …He left._

Somehow, learning it from the Lion hurt more. Shiro _had_ left, but probably not of his own free will. Definitely.

_My fault._

"Your fault?! How?"

_Abandoned him. Space. My fault. My paladin. Mine. To protect. Couldn't. Old paladin. Too much power. Too strong_ bond.

"Shiro wouldn't leave because you can't protect him! What kind of thinking is that?" he exclaimed, disbelieving. "I mean, work harder, train harder, try to strengthen your bond? That's something he would do. But _leave_ … that's not his style, Black."

_Sadness. Regret. Pain pulling at the edges of the bond. At the edges of the soul. Loss._

It reminded Keith of his and Red's earlier conversations, the simpler ideas and feelings that could be transferred through the bond. With time, it had got better, faster, more precise communication, but now he was starting from the beginning, and it felt like pulling teeth.

He somewhat awkwardly patted the Black Lion's metal hide. "It'll be okay. We'll get him back. …As soon as we figure out where he is."

_Guilt. Consideration. Acceptance. Determination._

The emotions changed rapidly, but in the end settled on resolve. The initial burst of guilt though was almost overwhelming, even through their weak connection.

…

_I know._

"What?" Keith glanced up, absently fidgeting in the pilot seat that still felt so _off_.

In the past week, things had been improving.

After that initial talk with Black, the others had laid off, secure in the knowledge that he had the beginnings of a bond with her. Keith had been able to enjoy his own bed, train and _think_. Man, he did a lot of thinking, and maybe it led nowhere, but he needed to feel like he was doing something. For the first time since coming to the castle and becoming a paladin, training wasn't enough to make him feel like he accomplished anything, like he was useful.

Now he was in Black's pilot seat, not really wanting to attempt to fly, but knowing he needed to. They needed Voltron.

_The place. The place he went to. I can feel him._

Keith's heart stopped in his chest.

"…You what?!" He screamed, almost shrieked. "Let's go, Black, let's go _now!_ "

But the controls refused to budge not matter how much he struggled with them, and Black was silent.

"Where is he?" he demanded, desperately, shooting up to stand. "Where is Shiro?"

Only silence answered him. Feeling entirely helpless, he brought his fist down hard on the dashboard. The sound seemed far too loud in the small space.

"Please," he whispered, not trusting his voice not to break if he didn't. "Please just tell me."

_I shouldn't. All this time. I didn't. I knew._ Keith's mind screeched to a halt. _But. You are rash. We're not complete. Not yet._

"You _knew?!_ " It felt like his anger would swallow him whole; him, or the enormous Lion all around. "And you… How _could_ you?! Shiro… He could've _died_! Why?!"

_Look. Now. Too impulsive._

"It's because you didn't _say anything!_ You _still_ don't tell me!"

_Shiro wanted it._

Keith didn't know what to do or say anymore. His fists clenched tightly on the dashboard and he just looked down, gritting his teeth and trying to stop the tears gathering in his eyes. He felt so _angry_ , and how could Black do that, _why?_ And if they didn't know where Shiro was, they couldn't _save_ him.

There was the feeling of something snapping, like a bone, or a string, or a huge bridge breaking in two and falling into roaring waters, and suddenly he was alone in a machine.

…

"I can't do it."

He burst into the room where Hunk and Pidge were collapsed on the couch. Allura was probably with Red, trying to establish a bond with the temperamental Lion. Lance… Keith had no idea where he could be.

But his bond with Black had snapped painfully, and he couldn't even begin to imagine that they could get back where they had been before it would be too late to save Shiro. At this point, if Red would accept him, that was his only option. And Black could find another paladin.

"What's going on?" Hunk asked, sounding completely wiped out. It was close to dinner after all, and the day hadn't been kind to them.

"Black knows where Shiro is, and she won't say anything." He all but collapsed on the couch, wrung out from the mental strain of the last few hours, while Pidge and Hunk shot to their feet. Pidge's computer almost fell off their lap.

"No way," Pidge said. Immediately, they closed the laptop's lid forcefully. "I'm going to ask Green."

"Please, Pidge. I'm going crazy here," Keith pleaded.

Pidge looked back at him fleetingly over their shoulder and threw a tense thumbs-up his way. Hunk actually paused in the middle of the room to stare at the other paladin.

"It shows," he said, frowning slightly. Keith supposed he was right, he must have been painting a pitiful picture. "Just, don't panic. We've got this." Hunk didn't look too sure, and Keith chuckled softly, if mirthlessly, at his slight hypocrisy. Wasn't Hunk the one always panicking? "I know what you're thinking, but really. We've got this. Just… stay here, get some rest, you look awful. We'll see what happens after this. I'll go talk to Yellow."

Keith was left alone with his thoughts, the last thing he wanted right then.

Was it his fault? Was Black so hesitant to say anything because of Keith's impulsiveness? Could they have known where Shiro was _weeks_ ago?

Was it Black, too scared? He'd felt her thoughts, scared that Shiro had actually betrayed them, even though she knew it wasn't true. Maybe it was Zarkon; his betrayal was still smarting and everyone was suffering for it.

What were they going to do?

Not even ten minutes later, the door hissed open again.

"Keith, fucking get your deranged kitten in line!!" Lance screamed when he all but fell in the room, waving his arms about wildly.

"I don't know what that word means, but I agree!" Allura uncharacteristically screamed as well, tumbling in after him. "I have had _enough!_ "

The duo looked like a mess, hair out of place, suits full of little holes, even their faces were not safe, multiple little abrasions littering the skin. He could even see a silvery pink liquid coming out of a cut on the back of Allura's hand.

"Are you guys okay?" Keith asked, wanting to get up to help them, but also much too tired to move up. He was also kind of worried they'd attack him if he made any move to get up; they certainly looked ready enough.

"That… that _hellcat!_ Of _course_ it's Keith's Lion, no one _else's_ would be such a _pain_!"

Thankfully, Allura had calmed down somewhat, and she was able to explain what had happened.

…

Turns out, Red was completely unresponsive to Allura. Even a week later, she refused to budge in the slightest, not impressed by anything Allura did, not even caring when reminded that the universe was at stake. Or she could be shut off and refusing to interact with them. Which, all things considered, Keith thought was more likely. Red was volatile, but a defender of the universe just as surely as the others.

"So, I thought about enlisting Lance to be the Red Paladin, and I could try to bond with the Blue Lion, who accepts new pilots more easily."

"And you thought Red would accept _Lance?_ "

That did not go over well.

"You know what, Keith?" Lance exploded, accusing, "I just had a hellish evening, and I didn't even want to leave Blue but I still tried, and you're here, resting up, all high and mighty because you can finally order us around, so... so you know what? Shut up!"

"Lance." Allura sighed. "So, as you can imagine, we pushed Red a little too far. And she can somewhat control some systems in her hangar… and here we are."

"I'm going to the healing pods," Lance muttered, turning to leave.

"Why Lance?" he asked, curious, and because 'we have one hundred problems and Shiro is all of them' would not be useful at all.

"Hunk is the complete opposite of Red, too analytical and always overthinking. The Yellow Lion is a perfect match for his character." She smiled at that, soft and far away, and he could not even begin to imagine what she was thinking. "Pidge too, so much in their element and so in sync with their Lion that she let Pidge modify her. Do you know how rare that is? For sure, Green is more open to new ideas, but this, this is too rare. You are trying to bond with Black, so Lance was my only option."

"I'm not."

"You're not what?" Allura asked, confused.

"My bond with Black broke."

The princess's eyes widened in horror and shock. She stood up off the couch and took a couple of steps back, like she was afraid of him.

"What... why?" she managed to say a minute later.

"Sorry, I should've said so earlier. She knows where Shiro is."

At that, she took two more steps back, falling onto the other side of the near-circular couch and putting her face in the hands.

"Since when?" she whispered.

"Since he left, apparently." He didn't even have the energy to fuel his emotions, the wild anger and desperation of earlier fading into numbness.

They were tangled like strings, horribly misarranged and full of knots, and one of their own was missing. If they couldn't get it together soon enough, 'missing' would turn into 'dead'.

…

Hunk and Pidge returned with downed spirits. Even more miserable than they'd been, actually.

Unlike Lance, whose worry about Shiro transformed into anger, especially when Keith was involved, Hunk and Pidge were more reserved.

Pidge spent all day over their laptop, drowning their worry in the illusion of being productive and typing until some of the keyboard's keys fell off. Hunk and Keith had to keep reminding them to go to sleep.

Hunk was just miserable. He was not in the mood to do anything, and only trained once in a while. No cooking, no working on the Lions, nothing. It was like the life had been sucked out of him.

"So, just so we're all on the same page, only Black knows where Shiro is, Keith cannot talk to her, and Red is being as stubborn as a mule," Pidge summed up. "Great."

Lance was back, along with Coran, who had said that his injuries were minor and would not need the healing pods. Lance was sulking for the moment, and Coran was drinking some nunvill to calm his nerves. Keith would love some of that stuff right then, even if it tasted horrible.

"Then we do what we should've done from the beginning, and Allura can try to be the Black Paladin," Keith said matter-of-factly. He didn't want to say 'take Shiro's place'; that would make it too final. And nothing, _nothing_ had been lost yet.

Everyone's eyes swivelled to Allura, who only looked down.

"In Altea, there were no great ceremonies for the ones lost or dead," she said quietly and clearly. It seemed like a random thing to say. She was obviously serious though, just as much as when she oversaw their training, and they let her continue. "We treasured them in our hearts, for sure, but their graves were plain; maintained, but not often visited. We looked to the future. But there was one thing, one thing that every Altean did. They had to fulfil the last wish of the dead."

Lance sucked in a sharp breath. Coran's eyes were moist, but no one, except for maybe Allura, could guess at what he'd been reminded of.

"To the best of their ability, of course!" the other Altean piped up, dabbing at his eyes with a green handkerchief. "If it was a vengeful or an impossible request, a lot of Alteans would not do what was asked of them. Generally speaking, however, they went to great lengths for the last requests of the dead."

At that point, he burst into tears.

"It was considered a great honour," the princess continued, shooting a sympathetic glance at him. "If you fulfilled it successfully, you were considered blessed for a long time. Your projects would not malfunction; your family would love you; your friends…" she trailed off. "I just, if we never get him back, I didn't want to ignore his last request."

"But we tried, right? To the best of our ability," Keith said, trying to stomach everything.

"Yeah, we did try. But now we're out of time, and we need a Black Paladin," Pidge whispered. That way, their voice wouldn't tremble, and Keith could see the tears gathered in their eyes.

"Alright," Allura said, standing up, determination written in her face. She made her way to the door, only to turn back at them just before it opened. "However, even if he does not make it, the position will be temporary. I will not be the Black Paladin." With that, she left, back straight, deep breath in her lungs, her footsteps echoing in the hallway.

The door hissed close behind her.

…

Keith trudged to the hangar, mulling their dinner conversation over in his head.

Coran had said Allura was afraid of becoming Zarkon. How that could be, he wasn't sure, but there was history regarding the Lions and the previous paladins that they could not even hope to understand. At least, not without anyone telling them.

Even then, to understand something, you have to know the conditions of when and where it happened, and they still barely knew anything about Altea and their history.

But something had happened, that made Allura hesitant to so much as try bonding with the Black Lion, for fear of becoming like their worst enemy.

The door to the hangar hissed open.

A giant red tail fell to the floor ten feet from where he was standing, making a booming sound that echoed through the whole room.

"Woah, easy, Red. It's okay."

The Lion growled at him. He was sure that to her, it was a low growl, but to him it seemed more like a tiger that was right in his face. _You're here. Finally._

"Yeah, I'm here. I swear no one else will try to be your paladin."

_Good. You're the one._

That filled him with warmth, even as Red lowered her open maw in an invitation. He took it, walking into the familiar red interior.

As soon as he was inside, Red's mouth closed, and he absently noted that the movement had more force than usual to it.

He fell into the pilot chair, exhausted. Everything was pressing own on him, even if one of the heaviest weights had been lifted. The weight of needing to be the Black Paladin was finally off his shoulders.

And onto Allura's. On one hand, he felt guilty that she had to shoulder the weight in his place, but on the other hand, it felt _right_. Allura was their leader anyway and they followed her; the one who knew what to do, knew about this world they'd been thrust into, about the _Lions._ She would be the best fit for Black.

_Paladin._ Paladin!

He jumped. "Sorry Red." He knew he'd come here to rekindle his bond with the Lion, but his thoughts had been distracting.

He concentrated on Red, allowing other thoughts and feelings to fall away. At first, there was a barricade between them, feeding off their distance, but they pushed through it. Even after those weeks, he felt the familiar embrace of the Red Lion curling around him, warm, almost burning, but never hurting.

_Stay._

"What? I don't think that'd be too comfortable."

_Stay._

There was an electronic sound, abrupt and loud. Suddenly alarmed, his concentration failed, he fell from the chair and rushed to the back, where the cockpit's exit was.

It didn't open.

"Red!" he pounded on the metal, but still nothing.

_Please. Please, stay._

_Fear, loneliness, abandonment, anger, understanding, regret, sadness, isolation, desperation_ hit him like a brick wall.

The onslaught was almost overwhelming, and he stumbled, just managing to stay on his feet. But in moments, the pressure faded away. The Lion let up as soon as she felt it becoming too much.

He took deeps breaths, trying to get his bearings back and steady himself on his feet.

_Forgive me. I… I was too forceful. I almost hurt you._

The door opened without him even moving, the red lights turning on along the passage, if hesitantly.

Keith let out a loud sigh. Red had spent the better part of two weeks keeping everyone away, it only made sense that she'd want his company once he was finally back.

"No, it's okay, I'm staying." _Happiness_ hit him, an excited purr resounding in his mind. "Just let me grab some sleep clothes."

He would have stayed regardless, probably. But with Red so hurt, he didn't have the heart to leave her by herself. Even if at some point they needed to have a conversation about not trying to force people into stuff.

…

"Two days," came Allura's voice over the speakers.

Keith jerked awake and would have fallen out of the pilot seat, if it hadn't tilted to compensate for his weight.

"What?" he asked blearily.

"In two days," said Allura, appearing on the screen in front of him. "We leave to get Shiro in two days' time."

She was in the Black Lion, hands on the controls and face lit up by Black's characteristic purple.

"Now, I'm going to _sleep_ ," she stressed, looking at him intently. "In my _room_ ," she added, before shaking her head and leaving.

Was that a clue? Did she mean something else by that?

_Alright?_

"Yeah, Red, I'm alright," he patted the seat underneath him. "And I'll be even better once we get Shiro back."

He turned around, facing the other way, drew the small blanket closer and went back to sleep, Red's comforting presence engulfing him in warmth.

…

"I can't come."

Keith almost screamed, anger and desperation fighting inside him.

"Why?"

"Because. It's not safe. I'm not safe. The arm would cause them to find us now that Black won't. They can track it."

Shiro looked half dead. He'd lost some weight, and he looked like he hadn't slept in days. He was back in those dark, tight clothes, and his right arm hung limply at his side.

Until it didn't.

Until it lit up in purple light, dragging him forward and towards Keith, who barely twisted to avoid a fatal strike.

"Keith, go!"

"No!" he shouted.

_Paladin._

"Yes, okay!" That gave Shiro (or not Shiro) pause. It did look like Keith was talking to thin air after all.

The Red Paladin quickly put distance between them, activating the scanner in his helmet like they'd talked about. Everything _appeared_ normal, at least, and it didn't look like Shiro was any kind of illusion.

"They don't know where you are," Shiro laughed, probably misjudging his scanning for an attempt to contact the other paladins. "The Lions can't even feel you, the quintessence around here is too dense for your young bond to mean anything to them."

He rushed at Keith again, now not as much dragged by the arm, but rather working with it. That put Keith at a disadvantage he couldn't afford, and Shiro was aiming to kill.

Well, not _Shiro_ , but rather the one controlling him. Haggar, if the voice was anything to go by.

"Come on Paladin, give up. You've lost."

Not yet. He couldn't lose yet.

He tried to run, to put some distance between them so he could gain more time. Only, something slammed into his leg, dark purple and glowing. He wasn't sure where it came from, but if Haggar could control Shiro, who's to say she couldn't make him fire an energy blast or something.

Swearing, he went down hard, losing his grip on the bayard as Shiro caught his wrist with bruising strength. The glowing arm wrapped around his throat, and for a second, all he could do what look into Shiro's grey eyes, now empty and devoid of feelings and expression.

Just a little longer…

"I'll take my time, paladin," Haggar said, Shiro's eyes staring coldly at him. "There's no rush." The hand tightened on his neck, and Keith couldn't breathe, dark spots dancing in his vision. He kicked out, but he was weakening, his body not getting the oxygen it needed.

Then the wall opposite of them exploded, and first Shiro, then him, then his bayard, were swallowed into the mouth of the Black Lion.

"No! This wasn't supposed to happen! Zarkon was so sure the bond wasn't enough!"

Keith coughed, reaching for his bayard and trying to regain his bearings.

"Well, tell Zarkon," he said, advancing on Shiro, who seemed to be resisting the mind control, "that Shiro's bond with the Black Lion was _forged in fire_!" With that, he brought the sword down and sliced the metal arm clean off.

By then, they were already flying away from the fight, the blood, and the Galra.

…

"Shiro?"

"I'm okay," he said, voice scratchy and low.

Everyone's faces broke into relieved smiles, and he was all but buried in limbs and hugs. His new arm glimmered, and Black welcomed him back as happier than she'd ever been.

_Forgive me for doubting you, paladin._

It was okay. Everything was okay and right with the world, at last.


End file.
